Ego is an identity of who we are, though false in it’s essence, it is our own construction of ourselves which we are unconsciently responsable for.
Regardless of the amount of ego, there seems to be 2 types of people:
- People that need to have their ego fed by someone else
- People that feed their own ego
The 1st type is the most common. People are usually sensitive to comments about themselves and how people see them, so they change the image of themselves based on what people around them think of them and their actions. This isn’t in itself, wrong. But occasionally their ego feels hungry, that leads them to think that they lack attention (the deserved attention), so they seek ways to “feed” their ego. Mostly it’s lack of self-esteem, everyone feels down now and then, but people of this type don’t seem to think it over, in the end, they tend to rely on others, some compliments and they get their ego fed as well as some self-esteem back.
Relying on others isn’t particularly bad, some do more than others and there’s nothing bad about it. However, they need to feel special, they need to feel that they are seen in a good light, so sometimes they try to say something about themselves just to receive a complement for it, complement-fishing. While some are more obvious than others, it usually works.
I don’t deny that everyone likes to receive complements, that’s only natural. But there’s a whole difference from liking to needing them to maintain a good image of yourself, self-esteem and your ego!
Then there is the 2nd type, they know themselves, the world around them and what it expects of them (at least from their point of view). So they think that they know what other people expect of them, but more importantly, they know what to expect of themselves, so in a way, they mold their ego around their perception.
It’s not that the perception of others about them doesn’t affect them in any way, but they consider it secondary. Sometimes they might feel down and rethink why other people have such a different image of them (compared to theirs). But usually their ego isn’t as volatile as people of the 1st type.
Ego is a plastic thing. And it is very easy to get it, for the 1st type others give it. You don’t need to seek it and there’s no search involved if you have enough. For the 2nd type you receive it as materials and build your own Ego from it.
In the end is just a consept, that everyone follows.